I Just Don’t Know.

I think there are many situations in which we look to God and ask him why he allows all the suffering in this world.  And sometimes I really believe he responds by saying “I should ask you the same question!”  War. Hunger. Broken relationships.  These things stem from our humanity.  The dark, yucky side that we like to pretend is not there.

But then typhoons arise in the Philippines and thousands of people die.  And we look to God and ask him why.  

We see children die in their schools by deranged gunman.  And we look to God and ask him why.

Mothers and babies and brothers get cancer.  And we look to God and ask him why.

Instead of waiting and listening for an answer… we are bombarded with pundits chiming in.

Too many guns.  Not enough guns.  Video games.  Lack of education… too much education.   Trucks and cars and ozone layers.  The Democrats.  The Republicans.

Then they start blaming homosexuals… as if a woman’s love for her wife caused a cyclone in Asia!

And there is no pause.

No reverence.

We are too busy pointing fingers, we forget to grieve, to help, to care, to love, to protect.  We are too busy pointing fingers that we forget there’s a flipside to the dark, yucky parts of our humanity.  We are a people of light and healing and joy and laughter, even if it may be laughter through tears.  We are a people of hugs, of smiles and “Have a great day!”s and “Can I help you with that?”s.

We are also a people who can say… “I just don’t know

I just don’t know why natural disasters occur in this world and why they have to be such murderers.

I just don’t know why children have to die in an environment of education.

I just don’t know why mothers and babies and brothers get cancer.

I just don’t know.

I don’t have to like it, it can make me as angry as hell.

But when I accept that I just don’t know… and that you just don’t know, I can move past the finger pointing and find something productive to do instead. And I can fully realize that “us” and “them” doesn’t work in the midst of tragedy.

So I say a prayer for the families who are in mourning, scared, hurt today in the Philippines. I will accept that I will never know exactly why tragedy happens.  I set the intention to do good today.  To be kind.  To help, to protect.  And when I look to God and ask him why… but only get silence on the other end, I will remember that God is close to the brokenhearted.  And that will be enough for me today.


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